Emily I’m writing you this letter and hoping to hear from you. I’m sure you already know and can see what is happening but I’m lost without you. Who could’ve imagined the damage this would cause.
Guess what, today I had many moments were my thoughts were of you and there would be a flash within my head, a glimpse of time that’s past and pictures of you floating within my vision as I walk thorough the hallways at work. Don’t forget You are here with me and I haven’t forgotten about you.
I do have some simple questions and I’m hoping you can answer them for me. Why did you have to leave? Why did God give you so much pain? Why couldn’t the doctors see the medicine want working?
Well, enough of my questions I want to know about you. How are things there? Is heaven everything they say it should be? I could only imagine what you see and feel. When the sky is beautiful I think of you and I hope you are enjoying that beauty from wherever you are. I tell myself one day I’ll see you again, your smile, your face, you….. If only…… If only…… Is the statement I tell myself over and over again. Always wish I could’ve seen this coming and be prepared to deal with it. Many moms lose three children but is it always this painful.
I just want to go outside and run with you, play softball with you. There are so many things that I used to love that some days o dread doing because it reminds me of you. You were so awesome. God gave me you and made you so special. I never thought he would take you away so quickly.
I will never forget that day and the many days that lead up to the moment when you took your life. I continually ponder and wonder what if I did something different.
I know you always told me it was only a matter of when you would kill yourself and not if you were going to do it. I truly hoped that would never happen. Promise me you’ll always keep in touch with us so that we can endure life without you.
Well, princess I miss you and I’m sure you miss us. If you are watching give us an occasional hug. I miss your hugs.
Talk to you later. Love you so much. Please take care of yourself. We are always thinking of you and wish you were here.
PS..We’ll always save you a seat at the table, on the couch for snuggles, everywhere we go.
PSS..Erica and Jessie are truly struggling and I need an angel to look over them. Also, look over the rest of the family but keep a special eye on them.
If you can work some magic were open to an easier life. Just kidding the challenges make us who we are.
Sending you a picture of your favorite niece and nephew. Oh forgot to tell you there is one more baby girl in the way.